Ireland

Irishness? What the feck is that?

/ Alan Keane / Leave a comment
We don’t help ourselves in fairness.
 
St Patrick’s Day. A time for perpetuating the stereotypes. Begorrah, we’ll have a session to be sure. Ah it’s only a bit of craic all the same. Sure aren’t we all just fun-loving little leprechauns?
Maybe St Patrick’s Day then would be a good opportunity to take a good long look at ourselves? And not through the bottom of a pint glass.
Leaving aside the Paddyisms we put upon ourselves in order to sell aran jumpers and claddagh rings to Yanks, how do we define ourselves in this country? What makes a person Irish? What qualifies as “Irishness”?
We’ll start with the alcohol because, well, there might be a grain of truth in the perception that drink is an intrinsic part of our culture. Just a grain mind.
Meabh Tobin is a Limerick girl working in Dublin. She’s worked in Spain and Boston, and has seen first hand how the Irish are perceived. She doesn’t think we help ourselves to shed the stereotype of a country fond of a tipple. “The way we give directions… It’s always in relation to a bar! ‘Oh, you know this pub? Yeah well the place you’re looking for is right around the corner from there’” she laughs.
But surely our predilection for a pint isn’t the only thing that defines us? There’s a fair few on our lovely island who believe that our Irishness is defined by one thing; our non-Englishness. This is most apparent on weekends like this one. Ireland take on England in Twickenham on Saturday, St Patrick’s day. Beating the old enemy, on their home turf, on the day of our national holiday. Life couldn’t get much sweeter than that. 
 
The Grand Slam year. Look, and smile.
There’s no doubt that there’s far less animosity directed nowadays at “them across the water”, but there’s still a certain bitterness that manifests itself on sporting occasions. The joy of our nation when England is dumped out of yet another football tournament on penalties is akin to us winning the damn tournament ourselves.
Funny that, because on the whole we’re viewed as being quite a docile nation. Not a bitter bone in our four million bodies. The land of a thousand welcomes apparently. Possibly, but depends on who we’re welcoming. It’s a sign of the times that the Pope is loathe to visit this country, when 40 years ago Pope John Paul II received the type of adulation in the Phoenix Park that the recently defunct Beatles could only dream of.
Which brings us neatly onto religion. A dirty word nowadays, but the keystone to Eamon De Valera’s 1937 constitution. It’s thought that Bishop John Charles McQuaid helped Dev draft the document that would shape the young republic. Indeed, the Catholic Church’s “special position” was acknowledged in the constitution, “as the guardian of the Faith professed by the great majority of the citizens”.
Religion in Ireland. Needs a good kick up the…
 
The majority of the country would still profess to be Catholic, but this is in the same way that Jamie O’Hara professes to be Irish; bit embarrassing really, but nice to have to fall back on. We still see the residue of the well documented “Catholic guilt” present itself within our media. Sex scenes on our screens are still frowned upon, and that’s just the heterosexuals. Gay,or out of wedlock? Look out your window. Flames and pitchforks. The Irish and sexuality is a process much like that Iarnroid Eireann advertisement a few years back; “We’re not there yet, but we’re getting there.”
The attitude to sexuality that still remains may go some way to explaining why our idea of romance is so messed up. Not for us a picnic and a bottle of the finest red beneath the Eiffel Tower. That’s for ponces. Sorry ladies, the best Irish men can offer is a beery “shift” in a dingy back alley, where you can look forward to wondering fearfully whether it is part of your partner’s anatomy you’re groping or just the handle of one of the many adjacent dustbins.
 
Aren’t you a lovely cailín? Fancy a shift?
On a weekend where we celebrate both a Welsh hostage from yore and Mother’s Day, it is difficult to decipher who is the bigger saint. The Irish Mammy had it hard in the olden days. Fulfilling jobs only lasted as long as the woman wasn’t married or with child. Once either or both of these occurred, the woman was released before she could say “equal rights”. The country was full of embittered housewives, reminiscing on the glories of their past lives in the civil service. The kettle boiled, the baby wailed, but all the house-bound woman could hear was her own voice nagging at her that this wasn’t right, this wasn’t fair.
Job prospects aside, there is no one in Irish society with power comparable to the Irish mammy. While she may have had no choice but to remain in the house and rear the children, once they were reared most had an attachment to their mother that couldn’t have been greater if there was an umbilical cord involved.
“Jaysus. I won’t sit down for a week.”
The Mahon Tribunal has cost the taxpayer somewhere in the region of €300 million to date. That money could all have been poured into education if someone had the hindsight to stick Bertie Ahern into a room with his mother for five minutes. He would have emerged chastened, and most likely with his “arse reddened” for him. With a wooden spoon. Because that’s the Irish way.
 
So there you have it. A picture postcard of Ireland that you wouldn’t send your distant cousins in Minnesota. It may be as coherent as a bar fly at midnight on March 17th, but this is our nation and we’re the only ones allowed to criticise it. So let us all raise a glass, and toast the Ireland and the Irish Mammy. Eamon Dunphy called the emerald isle a dump not long ago, and he may be right. But by God, it’s our dump.

The Emigration Chronicles: From Korea to Castletroy.

/ Alan Keane / Leave a comment
Shouts carry across the training field. Handpassing drills ongoing. The mandatory fella clad in a Kerry jersey. This could be any GAA pitch in Ireland. Except it’s not. It’s in Busan, South Korea.
Shane Clifford always wanted to travel after college. He’s no stranger to leaving these shores behind. After all, he spent six months in Ghana a few years back. One of the many reasons he chose South Korea was because he knew there were three GAA teams in the country. That gave him the chance to play football, a sport he has played for as long as he could remember at home in Renard, near Caherciveen.
Good call. He’s now chairman of Busan’s GAA team. Not bad for a lad of 22. He’s playing rugby now too, something he never took up back at home. He came up against Michael Considine in a rugby tournament on St Patrick’s Day. The lads lived together during the halcyon university days in Limerick. Mike’s teaching in Daegu now. The Clareman’s team won. They meet again in the GAA in a few weeks time. Shane does be thinking that revenge will be sweet.
It’s not all fun and games however, Shane has a job to do. He teaches English to Korean students. He’s not lacking in experience. Ghana was his first gig, then a summer seeing the sights of Italy while imparting his knowledge of the English language to the locals. Korea then is just another country in which to teach.
Shane in the Philippines. (Far right)
But it’s not just another country, according to Shane. “Culturally it is a fascinating country and it’s physically beautiful too,” he says. That’s what a lot of people say about Ireland too. Shane is keen to find a silver lining to the recession back home. “People are being forced to move out of their comfort zones and be a bit more adventurous. We were all fierce complacent during our childhoods in comparison to what our parents grew up with. This might knock some sense back into the silver spoon generation. But don’t get me wrong, people are under enormous strain and times are tough. I guess with what I’ve seen as recently as this year in the Philippines, I just find it hard to follow along with the ‘woe is us’ attitude,” says the Kerryman.
He mentions the Philippines, because he spent two weeks there just over a month ago. He’s been to Ghana, he’s seen poverty, but he hadn’t yet seen first hand the effect a natural disaster could have on communities. That all changed. He had planned on a two week “piss-up/sightseeing holiday”, but an opportunity to lend a helping hand arose. A few days before he flew out, he stumbled upon an NGO called All Hands Volunteers. They were working in a typhoon hit community in the southern province of Mindanao. Shane spent his first week working with them rebuilding houses, and says that the memories of the construction sites will remain with him long after those of the second week’s waterfalls and restaurants subside.
Shane doesn’t see a future for himself in Ireland in the short term. He’s thinking that five or six years down the line he might have reason to return. For now though, he doesn’t see the point in returning home to what is by all accounts a ghost town. Ireland’s loss is the world’s gain. Shane’s not done travelling yet. He’s just one more of what Michael Considine’s mother called the “lost generation”. http://www.irishtimes.com/blogs/generationemigration/2012/03/20/emigrant-friends-compare-lives-around-the-world-on-facebook/
 It would be churlish to say that our entire generation has upped sticks and left however. Fiona Hogan and Catriona Delaney are two who have so far avoided the temptation of emigration. They are both undertaking masters courses in the University of Limerick, and both know what it is like to see a sibling walk through the departure doors at an Irish airport and have no idea when they would see them again.
Fiona’s brother Eoin, who played gaelic football at senior level for Limerick, moved to New York five months ago in search of work. For a very close family, Eoin’s move was heartbreaking. While they have adjusted somewhat, Fiona admits that there are occasions when his absence is keenly felt. “Before Christmas, we had an important family remembrance and obviously he was not here for it. He had been there for me to share in grief for the event and a real support and I suppose I kind of collapsed without him this year. I mailed him and told him I missed him but that is nothing compared to the comfort that one of his hugs would have given me. Christmas was also difficult. It was the first Christmas ever that our family had not been together for. Even though we are old and the magic of Santa has long since past, we still wait for each other to go downstairs on Christmas morning to open our presents. The same magic was not in our house this year. Instead, my mother placed a picture of him at our dinner table and put a place setting out for him. She said it was only a joke but I could tell it was giving her comfort. Bigger occasions like that, we miss him more, but I know he is thriving abroad so I’m happy for him.”

Fiona (left) and Catriona (right)
Catriona’s sister Sarah returns home this summer after a year working in a hotel in Geneva. She’ll be glad to have her back. Contacting her by Facebook or Skype just isn’t the same. “I was especially close with my sister before she left and although the social media has made it easier to stay in contact it’s never quite the same. I miss being able to hug my sister and no amount of technology is ever going to be able to fix that.”

While the two girls have both been affected by emigration within their families, they differ in attitude when it comes to the question of whether they will follow suit. Fiona is adamant that she will soon leave these shores. “I have already begun to make plans to follow by brother to New York next January after I graduate. Most of my friends have already left the country,” she says. “I have been in full time education for eighteen years now, and I will refuse to finish and work a menial job. I want to do something with my life. I want a flourishing career and the research that I have done suggests that that is just not possible in Ireland. Eoin is maximizing his life chances in America. He is reaching his full potential professionally so that’s where I will go to do the same. I will not let eighteen years of hard work go to waste in the hands of the greedy and foolish Irish government,” concludes the Caherdavin native.

Catriona takes a different perspective. She wants to be one of those who stays and drags this country out of economic mire so those her own age who have emigrated have a homeland they would be proud of once more. “I’m a home-bird through and through. I’d rather spend the rest of my days working in a deli in a small town supermarket, making breakfast rolls for the local drunks, than ever have to leave this country. It’s part of who I am and I am equally part of it. What hope have the future generations of this country got if every single one of its current young, enthusiastic and intelligent scholars up and leave because of economic difficulties? I reckon stick around and see it out. Someone’s got to be here to pick up the pieces and get things back on track. Why not me?”

Ireland needs a few more Catriona Delaneys.

Canada to Christchurch: The Emigrant Chronicles.

/ Alan Keane / Leave a comment
It’s a long way to Ballymaloe, particularly if you detour via Vancouver. But the famous cookery school is Suzi Gubbins’ ultimate destination. Five months ago she crossed the Atlantic to Canada with her boyfriend Cian Hickey. Cian had wanted to move to Australia, Suzi to New York. Compromise is a key component of any good couple. They compromised. Vancouver population swelled by two.

Cian and Suzi in Canada.
Both had just graduated from the University of Limerick. “As much as I miss everybody, I would prefer to have a steady job and independence. Something that Ireland doesn’t guarantee right now,”says Suzi.
So they took the opportunity to combine work and travel. Their first jobs, like the first jobs of so many emigrants, were in coffee shops. Soon though, they found themselves in at ground level in a property firm (no pun intended). Five months after their initial move, they find themselves promoted, working in the same apartment complex in which they live. Life is good.
With work so close to home, Cian and Suzi have plenty of time to indulge in cooking. Ballymaloe may be someway down the line, but practise makes perfect. They’ve even started their own food blog, Our Quirky Kitchen, with which they share their own recipes with a growing number of followers. For two young Irish people recently out of college, their cooking repertoire is far more impressive than beans on toast.
“I’ve wanted to be a chef since I can remember, but it always seemed far too stressful for me. The food blog, that was both our idea, as we cook literally everyday. I try to make everything from scratch, I love challenging myself and developing new recipes. Cian is great to cook with, because he has a little more patience than I do, so when something doesn’t work out as I want, he miraculously can fix it. We’re a good team in the kitchen!”
It’s not all gravy in Canada though. When Suzi’s grandmother died not long ago, Suzi was far from Clonmel. Funerals are hard when you are present, but what’s worse is not being able to say goodbye in person. “I miss my family a lot, and with my grandmother’s death it makes it very difficult when you can’t get home for funerals and important things.”
Christmas last year was spend in chilly Vancouver, thousands of miles away from home. The next festive period will be different. “I can’t wait to go home for Christmas. Last Christmas was very hard because we were working and on our own. Our families are coming over this summer for two weeks so that has definitely eased the homesickness!”
The couple found another novel way to ease the homesickness. Hawaii. Knowing they wouldn’t be home for Christmas, they booked themselves a five day trip to Pacific paradise. It was a “beat the January blues trip,” according to Cian. “We were both pretty sad at not being able to go home for Christmas so that was what really kept us going to be honest,” he continues.
No sooner had they touched base in Hawaii, plans were being made for another excursion. Vegas. “The night we got back we were talking to our Irish friends who were all going and we were very easily convinced to book our own trip,” Cian admits. It was a fun two days. “The city gives you energy, it’s crazy!” says the Limerick native.
Until the planned summer visit, family is accessible via Skype, which Suzi admits she would be lost without. She and Cian plan on working hard, eating well, and enjoying life in Vancouver. The dream remains at the back of Suzi’s mind though. A place in Ballymaloe cookery school, and maybe her own cafe. If the menu is anything like the posts on Our Quirky Kitchen, people will be queuing around the corner to get in.
Back in Limerick, people are already queuing up to try Neill Foley’s cocktails. A former housemate of Cian, Neill made a name for himself last year with his Munster Rugby cocktail tribute. He’s not averse to a drink himself, and is a regular feature in the clubs on Shannon-side. However he went missing from the social scene for a few months at the end of last year. He had taken the plunge and emigrated to New Zealand.
“I felt this was my opportunity to go do something with my life. I had a well paid full time job [in the Locke Bar], but I felt if I didn’t get out now I never would. The World Cup had a major influence on us going to New Zealand. I suppose everyone in Ireland was heading off to Oz and Ireland had the best rugby team they’ve had in donkeys years so it all made sense,” says Neill, from the Corbally area of Limerick city.
Five months of mayhem followed. The Rugby World Cup taking place in New Zealand meant that Irish emigrants who had pitched up in Australia all converged en masse in Kiwi country. The country of the All Blacks was painted green for over a month.
Neill will carry the memories of the tournament with him to the grave. Along with the two lads he had emigrated with, Mark Tierney and Anthony Barry, he got a job working for a man who owned a motor home company. First day of work, the owner turns to the three Irish lads. “So how are you gentlemen getting to New Plymouth for the USA game?” He lent them a motor home. For free. They had found the perfect job.
They had been staying in a hostel for the first few weeks, but with the Australia-Ireland game on the horizon, the prices became extortionate. The lads were faced with the prospect of having nowhere to stay. Boss Mark Boberg to the rescue once more. “Nowhere to stay boys? Here’re the keys to the warehouse. Drive the motorhomes in and sleep in which ever one ye like.”
The lads were suitably ecstatic. “The guy had known us eight days and gave us the keys to his warehouse worth god knows how much. We all had showers and cracked open three bottles of Export Gold. We put them on the table with the keys of this million dollar business and took the best photograph of the whole trip” smiles Neill.
Kindness followed Neill around New Zealand. He had been collecting match programmes and ticket stubs as a surprise gift for his father who had recently retired. What happened after the Australia game will remain with him for a long time. “In the middle of Eden Park in the middle of Auckland in the middle of the Pacific ocean… The last peson you expect to meet is someone form Caherdavin [in Limerick City]. Nicest girl I have ever met. Told her what I was doing for my father. After the match the programme was soaked with tears [of joy], rain, and Heineken. It was no good. The girl leaned over me, put her programme in my hand and whispered into my ear; ‘My dad died ten years ago. I’m sure he’d appreciate this.’ That sums up the World Cup for me. It’s f***in great to be Irish.”

Neill with Irish rugby centre Gordon Darcy
At Christmas, Neill took a chance and went to Australia in search of other work. He hit it at a bad time. “I arrived when all the students were off and they were all looking for part time jobs too.” After a few weeks fruitless job searching, he cut his losses. He returned home.
He’s been welcomed back to The Locke Bar with open arms. After all, he makes a mean cocktail. He’s happy to be back. “It’s not all doom and gloom. I’ve noticed that so many people are trying to do positive things in this recession. For example, a guy I went to school with is organizing music festival in Clonlara. It’s called We:Session because, as he puts it, we are all in this together so we might as well do something positive.”
Positivity. A characteristic as potent as any cocktail Neill could devise, and one necessary to get this country back on track.
For more emigration stories, stay tuned. Or visit http://www.irishtimes.com/blogs/generationemigration/2012/03/20/emigrant-friends-compare-lives-around-the-world-on-facebook/


Follow Cian and Suzi’s incredible food blog Our Quirky Kitchen at http://ourquirkykitchen.wordpress.com/

Interviewing Niall Quinn.

/ Alan Keane / Leave a comment
Niall Quinn. Irish Football Great.

Sunday. Niall said ring today to arrange something. Ring Niall. No answer. Wait a few hours. Ring again. Same result. Send text. No answer by bed-time. Lie awake and fret.

     Monday morning. Ring Niall again. This time he answers after three rings. He apologises, wasn’t near his phone all yesterday. Phew. Arrange to meet up Tuesday at 2pm in the Shelbourne Hotel in Dublin. Thank Niall, hang up. Make mental note to find out where the Shelbourne is. Meet classmates. Tell them the good news. Told the Shelbourne is a fancy 5-star hotel.

Could get used to this.

     Go shopping for a fancy 5-star shirt. In Penneys. Success.
     Tuesday morning. Get bus to Dublin. Not just any bus. Double decker. Sit up top, as you do. Arrive in Dublin at midday. Time to kill. Head up to the Shelbourne to book a room for the interview. Walk in. Doorman posh. Receptionist posh. Act posh. Funny looks. Book room. Leave hotel minus one arm and one leg. An hour and a half to the interview.
     In bathroom in Stephen’s Green shopping centre, realise the reason for the funny looks. Forgot to take piercings. Eyebrow bar not in the unwritten Shelbourne dress code.
     Sit in Stephen’s Green watching ducks, eating a banana. Realise those people who call journalism glamorous are liars. 
     Twenty to two. Back to hotel. Staff very nice. Shown up to the room by the banquet manager. Room is huge. Table and two chairs like an island in the middle of a carpet ocean. Set up recording equipment. Niall rings. He’s stuck in traffic, he’ll be there as soon as he can. Hope he is, room only booked for an hour.
     Back down to the lobby to wait for the big man. Sit on comfortable, expensive looking couch. Weigh up whether or not it’s bad manners to greet Niall while chewing gum. Decide it isn’t the best first impression. Look around. No bin in sight. Consider sticking wad to underside of expensive couch. Consider this risky. Surrender to inevitable and stick it in pocket.
     Talk to doorman. Nice man. Not as posh as first impressions would suggest. Likes his job. Goes to do it again. Left alone. Quarter past two. Begin feeling faint from hunger. Remember banana is the only food consumed all day. Conclude that passing out while interviewing Niall Quinn may be detrimental to career in sportswriting.
     Remember big bowl of cookies on reception counter. Make up an excuse to approach reception. Ask baffled receptionist banal question about paying for the room. Given same answer as earlier. Unimportant. Cookies are in arm’s reach. Important. Take only one. Better to be discreet. Scuttle back to expensive couch, prize in hand
     Take a bite. Raisin cookies. Never as disappointed. Refuse to eat rest, out of respect for chocolate chip. Left with same problem as with chewing gum. No bin. Quinn’s arrival imminent. Chewing gum one thing, shaking hands with a legend of Irish football and getting melted cookie all over his suit sleeve another entirely. Sigh deeply, stick cookie in pocket to keep chewing gum company. Make mental note to burn trousers. 
     Here’s Niall. Too busy worrying about rapidly dissolving cookie to be starstruck. Friendly man, declines chance to get food. Offers to head straight up to the room to do the interview. Discuss Tipperary hurling on the way. Knows his stuff. 
Get to the room. Pour two glasses of water. Apologise in advance for asking about Saipan. Put on headphones and press record. The next 45 minutes fly. 
Interview will be posted up soon.

Hope to Heartache and Back. A Review of Ireland’s Sporting Year

/ Alan Keane / Leave a comment
Sport transcended itself in 2011 for this small island country. It became more than a form of entertainment, it became hope, transubstantiated in Katie Taylor’s boxing glove, Richard Dunne’s boots, and Sean O’Brien’s hands as we watched him steamroll yet another unfortunate opponent.

Did Northampton throw it away? Leinster sure didn’t.
     Barrack Obama came to Ireland at the end of May, and he told us something most of us needed to hear. “Is féidir linn”, or for non gaelgoirs, “Yes We Can”. Of course, Leinster already knew that. It must have been their mantra when, three days before the American President touched down on Irish soil, they found themselves 16 points down to Northampton in the Heineken Cup final in Cardiff. In the second half, inspired by Jonathon Sexton, the Blues scored 27 unanswered points to win their second Heineken Cup final, and join the pantheon of Heineken Cup legends including Munster.
     The men in red did not have a great start to the year, crashing out of the Heineken Cup at the pool stages for the first time in 13 years. But the mantra inscribed on the collar of Munster jerseys is not there on a whim. “To the brave and the faithful, nothing is impossible”. Written off before the new Heineken Cup even got under way, they sit top of their pool heading into the new year, with four wins and no defeats to their name. They’ve left it late in some games, but when Ronan O’Gara is on the pitch, that’s not even an issue.
He will be missed
     The national team’s year went from the most inauspicious of starts – with a disappointing Six Nations and some abysmal World Cup warm-up games – to the elation of beating Australia and the subsequent bubble being burst by Wales in the quarter-finals. Ireland may never have a better chance of reaching a Rugby World Cup final, but their journey to the last eight was enough to give the Irish people at home and abroad a lift. There’s a new generation of Irish diaspora growing across the world since the country went belly up, and it seems that the majority of them were in New Zealand to cheer on O’Driscoll et al. Handmade signs like “Ma, send over me dole money!” brightened up the early hours of autumn Irish mornings as much as the Irish team themselves did. This year also saw the retirement of John Hayes.  There’s not much that hasn’t been said about the man, except maybe that he’s diminutive in stature and lacks modesty. In all seriousness however, the Cappamore man will be remembered in high regard by rugby fans across the country for his often unsung work in the red and green of Munster and Ireland respectively

Richard Dunne, our very own “Iron Curtain”.
      The Irish football team weren’t to be outdone by the rugby team this year. As the Irish nation came down from the collective high we experienced watching their rugby counterparts, Trappatoni’s men decided they couldn’t allow us to feel low for too long. Queue qualifiying for a major tournament for the first time in 10 years, and for the European Championships for the first time in 24. In Moscow in September, Richard Dunne evoked the spirit of Paul McGrath as he single-handedly kept the Russians at bay for 90 minutes. When we drew Estonia in the play-offs, we dared to dream. Yet it wasn’t until the 4-0 win in the away leg did fans begin to plan their trip to next years tournament in Poland. When the draw for the group stages took place in December, we got Spain, Croatia and Italy. What hope we had faded, and the consensus is that Ireland are just happy to be in the tournament. Good. Coming in under the radar and upsetting a few of the big boys is how Ireland’s football teams have always operated.
     These were the stories which gained the most column inches in the back pages of newspapers this year, but the sporting odyssey was not confined to rugby and football. In hurling, a Kilkenny drubbing of Tipperary in September’s All Ireland final was enough to shut the mouths of all the nay-sayers who said the Black and Amber were finished. Didn’t they realise that Cats have nine lives? In Gaelic football, there was a small matter of Dublin winning their first senior All-Ireland since 1995. A lot was said after the game against Kerry, but it was the choice of match-winner Stephen Cluxton to say nothing at all that generated much of the debate.
     And finally, we come to the individual sportspeople who did much to lift the gloom in Ireland this year. In a year where Tiger Woods made his golfing comeback, Rory McIlroy was the real story. His melt-down at the Masters in Augusta led to many writing him off. When he blew the competition out of the water in the US open two months later, his detractor’s pens ran out of ink.
     One woman stands alone as this country’s most consistent performer at the highest level of sport. Katie Taylor this year won two European gold medals to add to her impressive tally. She now has enough gold in reserve to bail out the Irish banks. However, the biggest contribution Taylor could make to this country is to bring home Olympic gold next summer. If her performances this year are anything to go by, that won’t be a problem.
     It’s been a busy year in Irish sport. Forget the bad moments, savour the good. When you wake up tomorrow it starts all over again. 2011 was a good year, but 2012 has potential to be great. Happy New Year!
First published on Studenty.me on 31st December 2011.
Images: Brian O’Driscoll (telegraph.co.uk)
                 Richard Dunne (whoateallthepies.tv)
                 John Hayes (joe.ie) 

Don’t Go Booking Return Flights From Poland Just Yet….

/ Alan Keane / Leave a comment

How nice of UEFA. Every team gets a cheery “good luck” in their native language, except for Ireland. UEFA General Secretary Infantini forgets at first, and then when he remembers, all he’s learnt is “Fáilte”. We don’t get good luck, we get “Welcome”. Be happy to be here, intrepid Irish footballers, luck won’t get you much further. Back to the Gaeltacht with you Mr Infantini.

Go n-eiri… Go n-eiri… Ah feck it (Pic:telegraph.com)

Spain, Italy, Ireland and Croatia in Group C. Not quite the Group of Debt, and perhaps most importantly, not quite the Group of Death either. That dubious honour goes to Group B, where Netherlands, Germany, Portugal and Denmark square off.
So what of Ireland’s chances? Once you’ve picked yourself  off the floor, think rationally for a second. Croatia are first up, on June 10th in Poznan. There is undoubted quality in this Croatian side – 8th in the latest Fifa Rankings – with the Spurs triumvarate of Modric, Kranjcar, and Corluka prominent. Up front Slaven Bilic can take his pick of the former Arsenal striker Eduardo, Bayern Munich’s Ivica Olic and Hamburger’s Mladen Petric. The Boys in Green met Croatia recently in a scoreless friendly in the Aviva, and the Balkan side will hold no terror for Trappatoni’s men. 
Modric. Midfield Maestro (myfootballfacts.com)
The current Spanish team is like a good boxer. They hold all the belts. Reigning World and European champions, they could field their second team and still have a decent chance in next summer’s competition. If, true to form, Trappatoni chooses Andrews and Whelan as his central midfield partnership next year, then they will be up against the superlative Barcelona pair of Iniesta and Xavi. There is no point in saying that this will be anything less than a horrendous mismatch of styles, but neither is there any denying that the Irish pair wil not be found wanting for effort around the middle of the park.At the back, Richard Dunne would want to don the same number 5 jersey he wore in Moscow as he will face the might of David Villa and the enigma that is Fernando Torres. The hope for Ireland is that this game is book-ended by two positive results against the Croats and Italians.
Time For The Rosary Beads (conversationcircles.sg)
In the last 3 meetings between Ireland and Italy, there have been two competitive draws (both in the last World Cup Qualifying Campaign) and a win for an understrength Irish team in a friendly in Italian soil. Italy are largely dependent on veteran Alessandro Pirlo to dictate the way they play, and there is little to fear up front either. Guiseppi Rossi is perhaps the most potent of their strike force, and the Villarreal man is out with a long term injury. He might make it onto the plane to Poland, but whether or not he will be match sharp is another thing entirely. The last time Ireland played Italy in a major championship, Paul McGrath immortalised himself in Irish football folklore, and Ray Houghton scored a goal that gets replayed on YouTube more times than a Lady Gaga video. Eamonn Dunphy thinks that 4 points may be enough for a team to emerge as runners up in Group C, and if Ireland were to manage even a draw with Croatia, then the Italy game has the potential to be winner takes all. 
Rossi…Fit In Time? (nutmegradio.com)
From the point of view of the fans, once the shock of being drawn with Spain has subsided, there are more positives than negatives to be taken from tonights’ draw. For one, Ireland play two games in Poznan, and the Spanish in Gdansk. Of the 8 host cities, these two Polish cities are the closest together. Logistically this is dreamland for the travelling Green Army. If the Celtic Tiger left one lasting legacy apart from a crap economy, it is a strong link with people from Eastern Europe, and Poland in particular. Irish fans have been welcomed almost anywhere they have travelled with the team, and hopefully can rely on incredible hospitality from their Polish hosts next summer.
Poznan Stadium. Picture It Green (mcfc.co.uk)
Finally, no matter what your feelings are on the draw, the main thing is that Ireland were in it. We are half a year from this country’s first appearance in a European Championship for 24 years. Come what may, the fact that Keane, Dunne et al will get a chance to pit their talents against the three incredible teams is worth celebrating.
 Savour the build up, stock up on flags and facepaint, watch as the English media build up their team for another fall. From the 10th to the 18th of June next year, the economy will be off the front pages of our newspapers. Cue empty streets, crowded pubs, and a nation falling in love with football all over again. Cue a quarter final against England which we win on penalties. Heroes will arise, songs will be penned, and replica jerseys donned for days on end. The good times are just around the corner.

It’s Halloween, and our new President is Snow White

/ Alan Keane / Leave a comment
Snow White and the Six Dwarves (Pic:american.ie)

Well thank God that presidential election is over. The only snow white candidate, Michael D, is now the 9th president of Ireland, and he leaves behind him the 6 other hopefuls whom he dwarfed. In order of how they were ultimately ranked; There was Forgetful, who couldn’t recall any alleged brown envelopes. There was Naive, who wrongly thought that the troubles are but a distant memory to this Island. Next was Bashful, who didn’t seem to have anything worth saying all campaign, followed closely by Noisy, who had plenty to say. Then of course there was Loopy, who claimed people were out to slash her tyres. And last and –in the eyes of the voting public – least, Vanity, who seemed to spend most of her campaign money on a red dress and a makeover.
            A record 7 candidates stood for election in this campaign, and yet even so this failed to impact on Michael D. Higgins gathering the highest first preference vote in Irish presidential election history. Is this testimony to a great man, or rather a damning indictment of the other six candidates? Opinion is divided on this matter.
            It was certainly an entertaining campaign, if you like the Jeremy Kyle show. The constant bickering between candidates did much to lessen the importance of what is already a fairly unimportant post in the grand scheme of things. This did not feel like a weighty meeting of 7 of the finest minds in the country, ready to do battle in order to win the hearts and minds of the people. It felt rather more like at times one candidate was in one of those carnival, games where 5 of the other candidates threw stones until they hit a target and the one unfortunate enough to be seated was dunked in water. And then there was Michael D. It is said that empty vessels make most noise, and Higgins kept his nose and his image clean throughout this campaign by saying nothing.
            He was only vociferous in defending his age. He feels there is no issue with him being a septuagenarian, who will emerge shakily from the Aras at the end of his term as President a full seven years after his three score and ten. And the best of luck to him too, he seems to be in good health and sound mind.
            The latter being something you would have to question about certain other candidates who ran this rat race. Dana in particular perhaps. She brandished the constitution like a weapon throughout the campaign, but seemed unsure how to use it. Her Primetime Debate outburst will be the stuff of YouTube legend for years to come, as she without warning produced a statement at the end of the show where she made reference to “false allegations” being made about her family. She couldn’t divulge however what these allegations were.  Finally, throughout the campaign, she showed an awful lot of contempt for Europe for someone who won the Eurovision. Some people have short memories.
            Which leads us nicely onto Sean Gallagher. The comedian Karl Spain had an interesting insight to make on the Dragon’s Den entrepreneur. He said at a Galway gig on election night how interesting it was that “Martin McGuinness is able to admit freely that he has been a member of the IRA, but Sean Gallagher has to come out and say ‘Oh no! I’m not a member of Fianna Fáil!’” This highlights the standing of the last government in the eyes of the public, but interestingly this was not what killed off Gallagher. His Fianna Fáil links had faded into the background. Indeed, going into the Frontline Debate with Pat Kenny, Gallagher was miles in front in the polls. In his introduction to the debate, Kenny said to the candidates; “What happens tonight will impact on voter’s decisions.” Mystic Kenny was right. Gallagher fluffed his lines, and showed all the characteristics of a Fianna Fáil stalwart including allegedly accepting dodgy cheques. The race was over bar the shouting.
            David Norris loves to shout. When he appeared in NUIG the week before the election, people complained of a ringing in their ears after he had finished giving his verdict on everything from college fees to Joyce. He is undoubtedly a vibrant character, but this may have worked against him in this campaign. His eccentricity, coupled with the allegations which followed him around his entire campaign, meant that he was never going to be Ireland’s 9th president. The Irish people are fundamentally conservative, and the idea that Norris could say anything at anytime, particularly as the figurehead and representative of Ireland abroad, was unpalatable to many.
            Martin McGuinness came in third in the end, and surprised many with the support he garnered. The reason why he gained so much support probably lies in the fact that he was a prominent figure in the Northern Ireland peace process. The reason he didn’t gain anymore certainly lies in the fact that he is a former IRA man. The Irish people have long memories, and although we have moved on from the Troubles, it was folly on Sinn Féin’s part to think that McGuinness stood a healthy chance of winning this election. However the party’s profile has been raised once again in the Republic, so mission accomplished maybe?
            Gay Mitchell did a great impression of John Wayne in this election. Not in so far as being stoic, brave, and a man who you’d place your trust in. Not at all. Rather, Mitchell played the role of The Quiet Man. This paragraph has 6 sentences. Mitchell himself scarcely uttered that number of worthwhile phrases all campaign.
            And finally the lady in red, Mary Davis. Her finishing dead last in the polls calls to mind a football anecdote. A manager of a prominent team is giving a verbal tongue lashing to his team who have had an abysmal game. Noticing some substitutes laughing and joking in the corner, he turns his attention to them. “I don’t know what you lot are laughing at, ye weren’t even good enough to replace this worthless shower of b******s!” Mary Davis finished below Dana, and that says it all.
            For anyone who is suffering withdrawal symptoms now that the campaign is over, never fear. The Jeremy Kyle Show is on every day, and surely there will soon be another series of Big Brother. For everyone else, it is time to forget about the Presidential campaign, and turn our attention to the big issue that arose from October 27th. A referendum took place to establish whether or not politicians should have the power to investigate people in the public interest. At present it looks as though the public voted no, but the very notion that politicians should feel that this is a power that they are entitled to is both galling and terrifying. It is Halloween, and it is time for the Irish public to be afraid, very afraid. Watch this space.

Take The Pieces And Build Them Skywards

/ Alan Keane / Leave a comment
The Future? (Pic: munsterrugby.ie)

Tomorrow the 24 year wait for Webb Ellis will end for a deserving New Zealand side. France at their best would find it difficult to beat the All Blacks in the form they have been in all tournament, and indeed since the last World Cup four years ago. And France are not at their best. Not by a long shot.
In any case, Irish eyes may be on tomorrow’s match, but they won’t be smiling. Instead there will be a sense of what might have been. France don’t deserve to be in the final, and if Ireland had beaten Wales then surely with 15 men they could have defeated France. If, if, if.
Once McCaw walks off the Eden Park clutching the trophy his career richly deserves, then it is time for Irish rugby to disengage from the World Cup proper and start picking up the pieces of this nation’s shattered dreams.
There are issues that need to be addressed between now and the Six Nations, some more pressing than others.
Lets start with the most important issue. Brian O’Driscoll will not be around for the next World Cup, and even though he is making noises about the next Lion’s tour in 2013, that is probably a step too far for even the world’s greatest ever centre. Therefore, before the next World Cup, Ireland need a new captain, one who is firmly established by the time England 2015 comes around. Would the next Six Nations not be the perfect place for Declan Kidney to bed one in?
The question that has to be asked is who fills O’Driscoll’s shoes? Of course O’Connell comes to mind, but in reality has he much more time left than O’Driscoll on the international stage? Kidney has to be bold and pick one of the younger generation as his leader. Jamie Heaslip would have been a shoe-in perhaps eighteen months ago, but now his mantle as the driving force of the back row has been usurped by the Tullow Tank, Sean O’Brien. Other candidates such as Rob Kearney and perhaps an in-form Jonathon Sexton spring to mind, but one look at world rugby’s greatest captains (at present Dusautoir, Parisse, and McCaw) would suggest that the rightful place for a leader is in the back row.
Which brings us to the next issue to be addressed. Ireland need a bona fide number 7. For all his qualities, O’Brien belongs either at 8 or 6, because his main threat is his ball carrying ability which is nullified if he has to scavenge for the ball in the ruck with the likes of Pocock and Warburton. Unfortunately a number 7 isn’t just going to magically appear, but it is imperative that before the next World Cup one emerges. In the meantime, how about experimenting with O’Driscoll at 7 as a stop-gap? Given his supreme ball-winning ability in the ruck, it’s not as radical a suggestion as you may think. Ferris could be slotted into the second row to give another option there, with O’Brien reverting to 6. This won’t happen of course, and the back row that finished this World Cup will probably start next year’s Six Nations. It is a solid back row, but when it comes up against a back row with a proper 7 cracks will appear.
The next issue is that of the half back partnership. O’Gara and possibly Reddan will not make it to the next World Cup, and as such the youthful partnership of Sexton and Murray must be given a chance to develop at test match level. The question is, if Sexton has an off day such as he is prone to, who comes off the bench to change the game? Ian Keatley has been given a chance with Munster with O’Gara in New Zealand and Warwick gone to Stade Francais, and he, along with Ian Humphries, must be blooded fully into the Ireland set-up in the coming years. Kidney must not be afraid to experiment.
It is lamentable but inescapable that the two O-Apostrophe’s in the second row are unlikely to make the short hop to England in 4 year’s time either. O’Connell and O’Callaghan have been great servants to the Munster and Irish cause the past decade or so, and whoever replaces them will have much to do to dispell their giant shadows. Donnchadh Ryan is the most likely candidate to replace one of the veteran locks, but who will join him?  Ian Nagle has shown great potential, not least in his man of the match performance for Munster versus Australia around this time last year. Dan Tuohy of Ulster and Devin Toner of Leinster are others who deserve the chance to prove themselves worthy.
Kidney needs to don his white coat and goggle and experiment at centre too. He said during the World Cup that he sees Earls as the long term replacement for O’Driscoll, but there is doubts about his suitability for the physical nature of outside centre. Kidney for the next few seasons must pick and mix between Bowe, Trimble, Earls, Fitzgerald, McFadden, and heretofore uncapped players such as Danny Barnes and determine what combination will be potent enough to take on the world’s best once more in four years time.
There is no need for Irish rugby supporters to panic if Kidney experiments and results don’t go Ireland’s way for a while. The time for panic will be if the manager fails to experiment, and lets the squad stagnate until its vital parts fall away.

Patriot Games

/ Alan Keane / Leave a comment
Get behind them. (Pic:oneteaminireland.blogspot.com)

“I would imagine that the Irish people would be ecstatic if they qualify”. The words of Cindy Blundell, a Toronto native, when asked about the possibility of the Ireland football team reaching a European Championship for the first time in 24 years. Not so Cindy.
                Enthusiasm was scarce around the NUIG campus yesterday when this reporter carried out a survey on how much Ireland qualifying would mean to Irish people. Cindy mentioned that she “would watch it if they got that far”, which was more than could be said for many of the Irish natives questioned. Shane Callinan captured the over all mood perfectly when he said “Its boring for me, I couldn’t give a s**t”
                It has to be asked why this is the case? Why are the Irish people so ambivalent about the possibility of having something to cheer next summer? Surely amidst the unlifting economic gloom, an Irish good news story of this magnitude would be something to warm Irish hearts before what will inevitably be a long winter?
                Perhaps a degree of the apathy is the fault of the Irish team tactics. Whereas the national rugby team in New Zealand played the majority of their games at a hundred miles an hour, watching their football counterparts can sometimes feel like the sporting equivalent of the dentist’s drill. It’s bloody painful.
                That’s no excuse however. The end justifies the means and if Ireland were to attain qualification then any amount of torn out hair and fingernails bitten to the quick would seem a small price to pay.
                Kevin Bourke, a 21 year old from Tipperary, pointed out that “a whole generation of Irish people have never seen Ireland play at a European Championships”. Perhaps then it is a generational gap. It is unlikely that the majority of NUIG students remember the heady days of Jack’s army, and were possibly still too young to appreciate the Saipan incident. Or as it was otherwise called, World Cup 2002.
                Not all those questioned were indifferent however. Some were genuinely excited at the prospect of following Ireland next summer. Conor Nolan, a 41 year old from Athlone said “of course I’m interested, because it’s our country and I’m a patriot”.
                This was an overall theme with those who said they cared about Ireland beating Estonia. It wasn’t so much an affinity with the Irish footballers themselves, but rather the idea that it would be the patriotic thing to do. Paul Curley, 23, from Galway held the opinion that the players were “overpaid and not worth stressing about”, and Samantha O’Connor from Longford merely admitted that “it would be cool to have something to cheer”.
                It really would Samantha. Even Paul Curley’s prediction of “a nil all draw in Tallinn and a scrappy 1-0 win in Dublin” would suffice right now. In terms of Irish support, the tide seems to be out right now, but if Ireland does qualify, then expect the country to be on the crest of a wave next summer.